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Confessions of a Church Politic Junkie

Now before you get anxious about this post let me set your mind at ease. I don't want to talk politics. I only know what I heard in church on Sunday. I don't have an opinion about whatever went on over the past few months and as far as I'm concerned the dispute was over the amount of onions to put in the guacamole. I just want to add a voice of personal introspection to the conversation about how toget past events that hurt us and affect us as a body.

Like you, I watched the events of this weekend with interest. It was certainly good to see Pastor Les again. I have been praying for him every day. Of course, like many (maybe most) of the folks in the congregation I was surprised and a bit awed at the quasi-Shakespearian drama being played out in the Sunday service. My own (perhaps shallow) policy is to remain a bit ignorant of church politics. It's a good way to stay healthy and happy in the church. I just keep doing the things that God has given me to do. I love and I pray for my pastors and the folks tasked with leading us. If I disagree with something I just remember that I am sometimes an idiot and I am prone to error. I have found prayer and faithfulness are a great remedy for feelings of discontent in the pew.

Anyway, after this Sunday I began musing about the many churches to which I've been attached. Of course I've been at Trinity for more than a dozen years - but before that there was a string of 3 churches as a pastor and 8 or 9 churches as a pastor's kid. I traveled and sang in over 200 churches in my years in college. I've been a part of the evangelical church world all my life. Over those years I've witnessed dozens of conflicts and over various issues. Some of these conflicts became so intractable that they resulted in a splinter or even a split. When conflict happens it is hard to not feel hurt and wounded regardless of where you stand. Something seems lost and irretrievable when conflict occurs in the Body of Christ. In the last 10 years I have learned a great deal about getting past such wounds and not only allowing them to heal, but allowing them to become a source of strength. I'd like to share some of that with you.

No More "He Said / He Said"

When it comes to listening to the voice of God we are all so human. I loved what Pastor Les said in the second service on Sunday about how God's will blossoms in community. I don't remember the exact words but the gist of it was that God's direction emerges from the striving of the various members of the body of Christ as we all attempt to follow his leading. The word he used was "imperfectly".

One of the most often heard phrases in church conflict is "God is leading me" or "God is leading us". Each side, committed to following Christ and committed to his Lordship has a right to claim that God is leading them. Think about it. Two camps, each with a commitment to Christ, each sharing the same basic values, come to different conclusions - and each of them claims God is leading them. So what do I do with this information? Do I consider the side I disagree with less spiritual? Are they deceived? Do I take a stand, raise my stone tablets and say, "Who is on the Lord's side"?

This little trap of the enemy is so clever. He loves to combine our thirst to be on top of the heap with a sense of righteousness ("self" righteousness). The truth is that no one has a corner on the voice of God. I mean no one. Think about it. As saints we can all strive to hear his voice and not one of us is on the inside track. Pastors and leaders and teachers hear Him. Regular Joes who drive busses or sit in offices hear Him. Phone operators, baristas, students, homemakers - they can all reach out to hear Him. Men in prison on death row have an equal opportunity to seek him and find him. That's the promise of Jeremiah 29:13:

Now consider how you feel about what I just said. Did you catch yourself saying "Yep, I have heard from God and I am right"? Do you use this knowledge to reinforce your own belief and question other saint's sense of what God is telling them? Hanging on to what God has given you is an admirable trait. Using it to taint your relationships and make you feel more righteous than others is not. In fact, you are playing the serpent and posing the same question he posed to Eve at the beginning - "Did God really say?" Here's my advice Instead of playing "He said / He said" let's just play "He said" and let God sort it out.

Get Some Perspective and Stay Positive

When I think back on some of the disputes I have witnessed I must say that I'm often amazed at how serious everyone took the issues at hand. I hope this doesn't get under anyone's skin, but Church conflict can be a source of great humor and shake-your-head amazement. People are passionate and earnest about the oddest things!

• Baptism - Long ago I heard of a furious argument that resulted in a splinter group. The issue was whether or not an additional person who was not an ordained minister should be allowed in the tank as an assistant. The issue came to light because he pastor was worried about the upcoming baptism of a large parishioner.
• Decorating - Actually this one crops up quite a bit. The color of carpet or pews seems to be an issue that is seated quite close to our salvation in the evangelical church. Thankfully the "burnt orange" faction was ousted in the late 80's in favor of the "aqua velva blue" sect.
• Music and Worship - Conflict over music happens like voting in Chicago - early and often. Music is one of those areas where everyone has an opinion and everyone feels obliged to share it. Folks think the music is too loud. They think it is boring. They think it's too exciting, too "rock and roll", not enough rhythm, too much dancing, not enough hands in the air, too much clapping, not enough clapping, people praying with their eyes open, not enough hymns, too many hymns, too many vocals, bad haircuts on the worship leader, not enough worship, too much worship. I once saw a church split over whether any songs should be allowed in a minor key (It's the devils key).
• Theological Issues - Ok, so some of these are important, but sometimes they are just not worth the hassle. And in most cases they diverge quite a distance from the core beliefs that bind us all together. Should we really be fighting over whether Jesus was a Nazarite or just formerly from Nazareth? Is it important whether Paul had poor eye sight or was just short and grouchy? Does it affect anyone's salvation if the instructions on the number of prophecies in Corinthians are a code we should follow or (in the words of Captain Barbosa) "really more like guidelines". Theologians in the middle ages argued over how many angels could fit on the head of a pin (hence the moniker "pinhead theologians"). It's nice to know we have come so far.
• Church Ministries - People feel passionate about what God has called them to do. Sometimes they are irritated that others don't feel as passionate. When my wife wanted me recently to help her pick out carpet she was chagrined that my main goal appeared to be getting it over with and keeping her happy. To her it was an adventure and an important decision, but to me it was a chore. I don't know whether to choose "antique sandstone" or "jute brown" and I can't tell the difference anyway. Sometimes the same dynamic exists around the ministries and departments of a church. People want to raise the profile of the ministry that they care about. They can be disappointed and even embittered when others do not share the same passion.

Looking at this list it should amaze us how quickly our humanness overcomes our Godliness. Most of us need to get over ourselves and have a bit of a laugh at how petty and shallow we can be. These conflicts aren't about God or the Christian life. They aren't about seeking him and knowing him. They aren't even about protecting the faith. In most cases they are the same conflicts I see in business every day. They are about status, success, power and self-worth. We simply can't seem to get over ourselves.

Looking back on my own approach to conflict in church life I can see that they often non-events. I was so concerned about my church and about righteousness. I can remember writing and arguing for my point of view and listening to earnest church members fret over what to do. Why all the hullabaloo? Here is the real newsflash - Conflict is inevitable (even in churches). Conflict does not mean the death of the Body of Christ. Conflict does not mean anyone has to "lose out with God". The truth is that God's church will prevail. The reason we take it so seriously has more to do with our personal "human" stake in the issues than with righteousness.

With that perspective we can turn around our viewpoint. We can see things in a positive light. Yes, conflict is hard but it often produces fruit. It may drive some folks apart but it can also bring people together. Conflict can help us clarify what is really important. It can help us resolve outstanding issues that may have been festering in our hearts. And it can force us to focus our eyes more clearly on Jesus. It can allow us to overlook ourselves and walk in love toward one another.

Choosing to Trust and Believe

When you have a problem with someone you have a choice. You can go them, confront them and berate them. This is really want we want to do isn't it? We drive home alone making speeches to ourselves and laying out our case. We explain over and over (to ourselves with no one to point out any flaws in our impeccable logic) why things are just so, and why we have a right to our wounds. If we manage to muster enough courage (or meanness) for a confrontation we face our adversary and give him or her "a piece of our mind".

Does this behavior draw us together? Does it make us feel better about that person or about the situation? By and large it has the opposite affect. We are less prone to compromise and more entrenched in our position. We feel more justified in our feelings and less likely to seek a true reconciliation. Now don't misunderstand me. There is a time to confront and a time to hash things out. But for Christians that time should always be proceeded by humility, love and forgiveness.

How much better it is if we settle the issue before conflict arises. We will believe the best of our brothers and sisters. We choose to trust. We choose to forgive in advance. We choose to lay aside ourselves and empathize with family. We choose to "bear each others burdens". That is the Christian ethic. The words of I Corinthians 13 are more than just hollow platitudes. These are the behaviors and actions of a Christian. This is how we choose to be. We trust each other, we believe the best, and we forgive each other.

Lord, help us to choose that kind of love.

Posted on: Sep 28, 2007 | No Comments | Categories: Growing in Christ

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